Is there one? (You know this one…)

“Why, yes, Pete, there is.”

In Alice-speak, it would be Milly-wah-kay, which is Algonquin for “the good land.” (If you know, not only do you, indeed, know, but it’s okay for us to be friends.)

Not only was Milwaukee the backdrop as a legendary Alice Cooper concert experience for Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, but it was also home to fictional Happy Days spin-off characters, Laverne and Shirley. And I’m channeling the spirit of both on #vinyltwosdays as I’m nursing a weekend hangover from a weekend away to the 414 with my best little homie.

Admittedly, I didn’t do any real record digging (I’m looking at you, soon to be known as Irving Place Records, though currently known as Bullseye Records…) yet there was a lot of music enrichment along the way in really unexpected places.

As is the way with any adventure, we needed tunes. I’ve been listening to a lot of NPR again lately in the car, to my daughter’s great disdain, so I had some ground to make up for. What I didn’t expect was that the music of choice was a soundtrack…to a video game…about a Sasquatch. Again, if you know, you know all too well, and that furry hard-working social outcast has had an absolute grip on my kid for almost two years now.

The game, Sneaky Sasquatch, is truly adorable. I’ll justify her level of commitment to the game because it promotes personal growth, decision-making, money management, and sometimes breaking the rules is okay if you can promote your friends. There’s probably hand-eye coordination improvement somewhere in there, too, or whatever. I don’t know. Sorry, this truly isn’t a game review.

So when she said she wanted to listen to the “Samsquatch Soundtrack,” I scoffed thinking, there’s no way the game music would be on Spotify. (Oh, and Apple Music, if that’s your jam.)

I was obviously wrong. And because I have to listen to it all the time, I already knew that a lot of the compositions featured in the game are ridiculously catchy. I haven’t been this excited about gamer music since the alignment of the original Halo theme song with a personal study of Gregorian Chant in Music Theory during my freshman year of college.

The soundtrack was made reality by A Shell in the Pit, a collective of audio engineers and sound designers out of Canada. They’ve done work on countless other games that I don’t play, so I can’t say much about that, but I do know that I was shocked by the standalone listenability of their Sneaky Sasquatch tunes outside of the game itself.

After fighting a snowstorm (on the heels of pert-near 60-degree weather) for three hours on the road, we did all the things with our two days there. My Ticketmaster app evoked excitement. Not only because of our Friday agenda but also because I’ve recently confirmed a hot date for the upcoming VIP experience with Zach Bryan at the Fiserv Forum next month.

Stay tuned, I’ll be blabbing incessantly about it come not too long, with real-time coverage the day of the show, and will have an in-depth analysis within 3-5 business days upon the concert’s end. But, I digress.

We talked about motorcycles and their significance to Milwaukee, and got hyped for RHCP coming to this year’s Harley-Davidson Homecoming.

We got lit on marschino cherries and kitty cocktails at the hotel bar. We took sketchy Übers with drivers listening to unfiltered R&B and trolled around the Lakefront. We stayed up late, put mud masks on our faces, watched garbage cartoons, and listened to the tweakers walking down the street outside the hotel. Aw, memories.

We stopped at both Discovery World and the MKE Art Museum, both of which were phenomenal and sparked so much conversation that I was hoping for.

We discovered there is a sizeable exhibit on Waukesha, WI-native Les Paul at DW with all sorts of memorabilia, cool guitars, and demonstrations on the physics of sound (complete with a primitive Theremin!)

We discussed world history and broke bread among the shadows of presidents, actors, and musicians who have also enjoyed the authentic German food at Mader’s. I had one of the most smooth Kölschs ever. Come to think of it, I actually had two.

Simply put, it was a lovely little weekend running around town like the cute Laverne and Shirleys we were. It’s also quite possible we’re more like the Wayne and Garth version.

Regardless, I had to spin it when I got home.

According to some ratings, the album was an awkward and terrible flop, but I disagree. It was sincerely silly and made me giggle, which is absolutely how the show made me feel when I caught reruns as a kid.

I have no hate in my heart for this album. In fact, I purchased it in a bundle from Clay at Turner Records maybe only a week and some change before Cindy Williams’ death and it feels poignant for me to have.

In need of a little extra something to round it all out, I was led to Alice Cooper’s Greatest Hits straight from 1974. I’m proud of this $3 rescue, I know it’s not anything rare, though when I can have a genuine and genuinely clean copy of it for pocket change, it feels special. My daughter also enjoys Alice Cooper, and he’s been a staple in my life not just because of his music, but for his humor and intelligence. Plus, he’s one hell of a golfer.

My love for Alice has also always been rooted in my experience that some people just surprise you in pleasant and amazing ways. Never ever discredit someone’s smarts or ability to turn a joke based on a superficial outward appearance. Obviously, Alice Cooper deprecatingly has done both for years only highlighting his infectious humble spirit.

“Does this guy know how to party or what?”