I’m a mess. That don’t rhyme with shit, it’s just true. From the dulcet tones of Childish Gambino himself. I’ve been grieving big losses, so it’s fitting.

Grief messes with your body. I knew there was a somatic component to it, tho your heart actually can change size/shape because of sadness.

Anyway, Rush. I started taping them off the local Lazer103 FM back in the day middle school-era, thinking Geddy Lee’s vocal stylings were that of Supertramp. I slapped da bass and played piano so it landed. Later, I dug into Alex Lifeson. You may know him as the guy Trailer Park Boys kidnapped for Bubbs. Neil Peart, I shamefully admit, came into my peripheral late after I saw Rush in MKE. Their stage set-up/his kit was unbelievable. I was never super impressed at drummers unless thy name was Danny Carey.

I heal w/ reads, solitude, and drives, and picked up one of Neil’s books in April. The one he wrote after losing his daughter and wife within one year and took a long ride of nurturing your soul-type shit. Thru his story, I’m learning to keep the humor, ride, and listen. Create something, even if it’s just an idea. Have courage.

Mr. Peart later died in 2020 from brain cancer, which he battled quietly for almost 3Y. He was brave, intentional, smart, and candid with his grief, healing, and subsequent death. Incredible man.

When I’m physically healthy next summer, I have a Field of Dreams ride. If you map it, she will ride. The details are unimportant, but I have a date and an idea sketched. A cathartic journey to complement my hard work this year in the accommodation of a changing heart.

@siliconeandvinyl